IT'S TIME TO BRING THE
HEALTHY MASCULINE
BACK INTO FATHERING
Become the
Fiercely Loving Father
your Son needs to become a Man
You are a Good Dad,
not an authoritarian Father
Dads of old frequently felt obligated to chisel the “tabula rasa” of their son into a mold of what a man was supposed to be. They didn’t have room to care about how the boy was actually built. They had less space to consider his feelings and passions and needs. Society needed “tough men” and so authoritarian dads took to their task with harshness.
Life became less harsh and we became Good Dads. Our parenting became more “enlightened.” Now we spend more time with our kids. We play more. We get down on their level and listen to their ideas and respect their wishes. We follow their lead. We make sure they are safe and really work hard to make them happy. All of this is a huge upgrade….
But Sons of Good Dads
are showing signs of stress
In our short-sightedness towards psychological safety and happiness, we have unwittingly created a new set of problems.
Does your son
Have trouble in school, require frequent teacher meetings
Have problems with ADHD, or various conduct disorders
Still need help getting ready for school beyond the age of 7
Still have violent outbursts beyond the toddler years
Take over the house with his emotionality
Not get invited to many sleepovers or playdates
Act disrespectfully and rude to you or your partner
Not listen to your guidance or boundaries
Not open to deep intimacy with you, feel distant
Seem fragile and lack resilience in the face of adversity
Emotionally manipulate his mother
As a result, we Good Dads often find ourselves
Frustrated and angry
Yelling at our kids, or even being physically rough
Feeling pushed around by our partners
Wondering what our role is beyond providing income
Turning away and hiding out in our man-caves
Frequently checking out on our phones or online
Feeling judged when we try to set clear boundaries
Not quite comfortable expressing our masculinity
Lacking in passion and a sexually vibrant partnership
Lacking focus and energy toward our Life’s Purpose
This is not the Fathering experience we imagined
“What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive. And love without power is sentimental and anemic.”
MLK jr
Now imagine that your son really looked up to you and respected you.
Imagine he is so deeply connected to you that he imitates you by stepping up and taking responsibility for his life. He helps clean the house every week. He gets dressed, packs his backpack, and makes his own lunch every morning without being asked. He enjoys school, and his teachers and classmates enjoy him. After school, he finishes his homework before even asking to play video games. He respects your privacy and honors your boundaries. And all the while, you have a ton of fun together. You cuddle and wrestle. You enjoy challenging and razzing each other in games. You do warrior-exercises side by side. You are stoked to become better men together.
And your partner trusts you deeply. She appreciates you. She welcomes and invites your masculine leadership. This trust evokes even more vitality, presence, and service (not to mention igniting your passion for one another). And around and around it goes in an auspicious upward spiral.
IT’S YOUR SACRED DUTY TO EMBODY THE MATURE MASCULINE FOR YOUR FAMILY
The Mature Masculine Archetypes:
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
If you are not clear and on purpose – if you don’t know precisely how to serve your family with your masculine gifts, you will suffer.
Your kids will suffer.
Your partner will suffer.
And the world will suffer under the weight of yet another diminished man.
That’s why we created the Personal Archetype Audit. This is a 360-degree self-evaluation to determine how you are doing as a Father using the lens of the Mature Masculine Archetypes: the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover?
Through a series of 80 questions, we will clarify how well developed these archetypes are in you, and whether you are living more from the light or acting out the shadow.
“It takes a mother to raise a boy.
But it takes a father to raise a Man.”
Greg Ellis
There is a
Fiercely Loving Father
emerging within you
A Fiercely Loving Father
Protects and Provides… so loved ones may Rest
Lives Simply… to make room for Depth
Rests in Presence… so Presence is invited in others
Emanates Potency… to encourage his son to be Powerful
Holds Compassionately… so Vulnerability can transform
Lives Courageously… to inspire his son to take chances
Speaks Sincerely… so the Truth can be heard
Holds Complexity… so the Emergent can be born
Embodies Wisdom… to express Faith in the Mystery
Lives in Service… as a path to Fulfillment
A Fiercely Loving Father enjoys deep connection with his kids and partner. He loves wrestling and being playful. He models and supports staying with vulnerable feelings and expressing tenderness. A Fiercely Loving Father skillfully organizes family life to support flow. He naturally embodies – and helps his son embody – the masculine archetypes. He lets the great mythic stories of Star Wars and Marvel educate, inspire, and help to illuminate the dark and light sides we each contain within us. He brings his vitality and passion to his Goddess, keeping a fire burning at the center of their home. And he models the power of living on purpose and serving the world with his gifts.
“What will our children do in the morning
if they do not see us fly?”
Rumi
“Chris is a remarkable guy and if you get a chance to work with him, you and your family will benefit greatly."
Todd Sarner MFT
I am Chris White MD
I am a pediatrician, parent coach, and father of two boys. I have studied human development from many angles: my pediatric and holistic ADHD practice, a certified Integral Life Coach from New Ventures West, and three decades of meditation, inquiry, and somatic training. I have participated in and led Men’s groups for over 20 years. I have a long history of stoking the masculine flame.
I first articulated my vision for an integrated masculine and feminine parenting in the book
Mindful Discipline: A Loving Approach to Setting Limits and Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.
“...a masterful guide for parents.”
Andrew Weil MD
“I love this book. I wish it were packaged with every pregnancy test.”
Dean Ornish MD
Now I am ready to take parenting to the next level: It's time to bring the healthy masculine back into fathering.
My gifts are my presence, my heart, and my clarity. I delight in each unique story, and love guiding men through this rite of passage called “fatherhood.”
“Seeing him with his sons inspires me to be a better father. I send every parent I know to his work.”
Shereef Bishay
Together we grow from Good Dads to
Fiercely Loving Fathers
“The time my wife and I spent with Chris was the single most valuable hour yet.”
Amiel Handelsman, host of The Amiel Show and Executive Coach
If you give me
10 weeks of your time,
I’ll put you on a track to becoming the
Fiercely Loving Father
your son deserves
Do it for him.
Your son needs your masculine nourishment in order to grow into a Man. Reclaim your Essence. Offer it in service.
Do it for your relationship.
Many marriages are crashing and burning because men feel stuck and don’t know the way out. Dig deep. Unearth your fierceness. Rekindle your passion.
Do it for yourself.
Living from your deepest truth is fulfillment. Anything short and you will suffer. Find the truth in your belly. Live every moment with fierce love.
Do it for the world.
Our world needs strong, loving men now more than ever. Be the change you know we need.
WHAT OTHER FATHERS ARE SAYING
“Dr. White is an invaluable resource.”
B. Kelly
“A great experience for me…made me feel more confident as a father. ”
J. Sedlak
“One of the best things I have done for myself and my little one.”
S. Therkelsen
“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.
Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills.
Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
Earl Shoa
What:
A COACHING PACKAGE to
take your fathering to the next level
You will get:
1:1 Coaching with Chris (10 sessions)
Weekly Presentation and Q/C groups (1 ½hrs)
Archetype Starter Kit (Personal Archetype Audit and Map)
Full access to the Fiercely Loving Fathers library
Private chat access to Chris (ask any question, anytime)
Where:
In the comfort of your home [On-line Zoom]
When:
on your schedule
Private coaching will be arranged between you and I individually.
Weekly Presentation and Q/C group is Wednesday 7-8:30pm - recording available should you have to miss.